The unexpectedly varied definition of listening

I spent last week at International Listening Association’s yearly conference. Who knew that was a thing.

Turns out, it’s been operating for 46 years, assembling professors, doctors, psychiatrists, non-profit leaders, and educators who care about the practice and process of bringing people together and creating the feeling of togetherness.

It is said that if you are the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.
Hence, as one of the only non-academics and non-professors, I was in the right room.

And yet, even among these scholars, it turns out that the definition of listening is still a debated topic that no one can fully agree on.

Dr. Elizabeth Parks (author of “Listening: The Key Concepts” (2025) and “The Ethics of Listening: Creating Space for Sustainable Dialogue" (2018)) presented on the definitions of listening over the years.

Here are several:

“The active process involved in attaching meaning to sounds.” Spearrit (1962)

“The selective process of attending to, hearing, understanding, and remembering aural symbols.” Barker (1971)

"A rather definite and deliberative ability to hear information, to analyze it, to recall it at a later time, and to draw conclusions from it." Kelly (1975)

"The process of receiving, attending to, and assigning meaning to aural stimuli." Wolvin & Coakley (1988)

"The process of receiving, constructing meaning from, and responding to spoken and/or nonverbal messages." International Listening Association (1996)

"Listening competency means behavior that is appropriate and effective. Appropriateness means that the content is understood, and effectiveness deals with the achievement of interactive goals." (Cooper, 1997)

"A set of interrelated activities, including apparent attentiveness, nonverbal behaviors, verbal behavior, perceived attitudes, memory, and behavioral responses." de Ruyter & Wetzels (2000)

Meanwhile, Webster dictionary defines listening in three ways:

1. to pay attention to sound, 

2. to hear something with thoughtful attention,

3. and to be alert to catch an expected sound.

It’s impossible to say any of these definitions are wrong, and yet, all of them leave something to be desired.

The deepest listeners see listening as a practice of altruism, of giving pure human connection to someone who (whether they’re conscious of it or not) needs to be seen, heard, and experienced. For those who are truly listened to have the ability to surpass the boundaries of their own perception by leaning on the generous perception of a listener.

I find the purest listening gives the speaker support to exist.

I return from the conference inspired and yet also seeking more.

Perhaps we’ll be the ones to find the definition of listening.

How would you define it?