Listening to Evil with Wonder

Wonder: A feeling of surprise mingled with admiration.

A component such a key element of listening you might as well consider them inseparable. To listen without wonder is to hear someone one without caring.

Listening requires a willingness to be surprised and willingness to admire.

But what does that mean when we consider the hardest people to agree with.

The racists.
The terrorists.
The people who take advantage of others in painful and disgusting ways.

Can a good listener not disagree with someone?
Can they not say, “Stop. That’s wrong. You’re awful.”

Sure can.
Just because you’re listening to someone doesn’t mean you have to agree with them.

Hopefully you never encounter someone who wants to harm you, but there is a good chance that you’ll encounter people who support policy that harms you or your loved ones.

Champions of listening have to hold out the power of compassion and community.
They must envision a world where more people get along and less people feel alone.

At this point, many have their identity tied to one political identity, no matter what the party believes, they back it.

Those people are unwilling to change because they never get a chance to be heard, to talk things out, and to figure out what needs they are trying to meet. Once you bring things to a needs level, we learn that most people have needs that can be met, and many of us on different sides of issues have the same needs — safety, wellness, care.

And so there will be opportunities to forgive and include people who we disagree with.
And getting there is only possible through wonder.

Love,
Orly

P.S. To all those who wrote me back after yesterday’s personal email - I thank you deeply. More to come.