How to win an argument

You can’t.

(I lifted this oh-so-true hook from Seth Godin’s blog, “how to win an argument with a toddler)

Arguments are power struggles. They are rooted in who is the fiercest, and play into who has the most to lost, and at what cost.

The only way to win an argument is to end it, and start a discussion.

Label it, “Hey, this is an argument.”

Then, “Let’s have a discussion instead.”

Remember, the only people who want to have arguments are people who vie for power over in relationships. In a fair conversation, anything up for debate should be settled in a more measured forum.

Reasons can be presented. Priorities weighed. Decisions made based on values.

There will always be power dynamics, but there does not always need to be arguments. If you find yourself constantly arguing or bickering with someone, bring it to light.

Better to be forward then to be hidden.