how to give a killer compliment

Dear reader,

Yesterday, I received one of the most delicious compliments and there’s a lesson in this for you.

One of my client is almost mute. After two months of working together in a group setting, she never spoke more than a few words per hour, and never once have I heard her volume above a whisper.

And so I prioritized making progress with the other more vocal and willing clientele.
But last week, her resistance became my target.

I brought in a pack of index cards and a sharpie.

I handed her cards labelled one, two, and three and wrote multiple choice questions on the cards I had. She shared more about herself in that day than I’d seen in two months.

Back to yesterday, one of the supervisors of the facility told me she was so impressed by my method that she wrote a paper about me for a grad school assignment. 

I was touched.

You want to give a meaningful compliment, use the SPORK framework.

Specific — What exactly do you like? It could be a specific detail on clothing, a sentence you enjoyed hearing, a portion of well-cooked food.

Personal — What did this mean to you or remind you of?

Original — Have some fun with words. Use a sentence that interrupts the norm.

Results — What did you do differently? What changed after this?

Kind — This one goes without saying, and I needed a K to make the acronym fit.

Example: I love your face. When you smile, it reminds me of the friendship we share. Because I saw you, I felt happy even after you left.

Now go make someone’s day.

Have fun,
O

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