how to bet on yourself (too optimistic)

On the theme of hope: Having a goal to work towards is a driver of hope.

All my life, I wanted to write a book.
I have started and failed a dozen times.

Chapters completed and abandoned.
120 pages of a graphic novel written, drawn, and colored, but never finished.

Hours and hours and hours put into projects that never stuck.

On June 9th, I sat down with my best friend and we planned out the next year’s goals.
He was brutal, but fair.

“If your number one goal is truly to write a book, that’s all you can focus on.”
“I need to pay rent.”

“Then figure out how to get enough money to pay rent, and then work on your book.”

That sounds fair. Unreasonable, but fair.
If that’s truly what I want, then that sounds fair.

Weeks later, he checked in on me.
Rent was covered, and some other opportunities presented themselves to make more money. I kept taking them.

“You’re not working on your book,” he said.
“You’re right.”
“Isn’t it your number one priority?”
“But my future…”
“Do you want to live a future where you’re an author, or not?”

The truth stung.

“Okay. Let’s raise the stakes.”
“How many pages can you write in a month?” he asked.
“Ninety,” I said.
“That’s a lot.”
“I can do it.”
“Okay, if you don’t do it, I’m going to kick you in the nuts.”

“Fine. When is the deadline?”
“August 23rd.”

Today’s date is August 23rd.
Here’s a video of me celebrating 90 pages.

I didn’t figure out what the story was until about 50 pages in.

My nuts survived the first round.
I called my friend, “I did it.”
“Okay, what’s the next goal? Getting halfway through?”
“I’m not sure what halfway looks like.”
“Then getting all the way through the first draft.”
“Okay.”
“How long do you need?”
“Three weeks.”
“Okay.”

And now we continue.

This will be either a story of triumph or failure.
Betting on myself.

What’s a bet you’d like to make on yourself?
What are you willing to wager?
Let me know if you have a goal and need someone to bet against you.

Keep hoping,
O

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