Help me eat better

“What are you poisoning your body with right now?”

At the beginning of June, a coach of mine asked me that.

“Carbs,” I replied.

Backstory: I eat a lot. I stress eat, I happy eat, I bored eat.

I’ve battled with food and weight most of my adult life.

My best friends would called med “Tubb-O” and “Tubby Tub-a-lard-is” and “Big Chungus” based on the meme character below:

Sure, my self-esteem took a hit, but their friendly bullying helped me build a workout routine that I’ve kept for the last two years.

Fast forward to June. I’m house hopping after my house burned down. Staying in my 10th house in 6 months. The benefit of not having a permanent kitchen is I’m never buying more than a week of food at a time. No snacks. Just essentials.

I lose around 25 pounds in those six months of daily swims and basic eating.

But then I arrive at house ten, and it’s full of bags of Japanese snacks. And I’m stressed.
So I eat.

And then my coach asks me what I’m poisoning myself with and I say carbs.
Because I’m having a lapse in control (and I also don’t smoke or drink).

So he says, "Go on an elimination diet. And use ChatGPT to track it.”

What this means is that for a month, you eat supreme-level basics.

No dairy, no sugar, no complex carbs or fake foods. Basically just meat, some fruits, some vegetables.

You clear your system for 21 days and slowly reintegrate foods and see how you feel after each one.

So, now in mid-July, I’m learning that sugary stuff and heavy carbs hurt me physically.

Invited to dinner on Tuesday. Home made peach cobber (pictured).
I wake up at upset stomach AM.

Invited to dinner on last night. Challah. Tart. Cake.
I wake up at upset stomach AM.

And yet, if someone puts a pie in front of me, I eat it.

Meeting yesterday. Host set out two massive cookies and a cinnamon bun. Sliced up.
Twelve pieces for seven people. Hour on the clock.

Twenty minutes go by.
No one eats.
Maybe someone needs to break ice.

I got for the cinnamon bun. It’s great.
Someone takes another piece of the bun.

Feeling adventurous.
I grab a piece of oatmeal raisin cookie (my fav).
Two pieces is fair for one person.

Fast forward to meeting’s end.
No one else touched the food.
I eat two more cinnamon slices.
Three more cookie pieces.
Then they give me the rest to take home because I’m the only one eating.
Why?

I now knew it was going to hurt me physically later.
I knew I was going to a big dinner later.

I get to dinner and the same thing happens.

Big shabbat dinner. Lots of homemade challah.
Lots of downtime before the main course is served.
I must have had a dozen pieces of challah, if not more.

Dinner comes. Eat normal portion.
Dessert comes.
At this point, I know I’m going to feel bad already so it doesn’t hurt more to eat more. Call it a cheat day.
Eat slice of tart. Of pie. Of cake.

Long conversation continues late into night.
Two pieces of cake sitting on table next to me.
Eat both.

I’m still engaged in conversation with people. Present. Curious. Sleepy.
And yet, I’m tired of this battle.

Genuinely asking for your thoughts. 
My solution is keeping myself away from the food, but when it’s served to me, I eat it.

How can I do better?

The best I can do is not be near it.
Or eat a ridiculous amount of water.

I just want to know how you do it.
How do you sit with food in front of you and not eat it?

Polling the nation.

+++

Speaking Announcement: I'm setting my speaking schedule for the second half of 2025 and early 2026. If your organization would like to have me come speak at an event, please fill out the form below with additional information!