Food (episode 4)

Day four of this saga has illuminated two realizations:

1) I get invited to too many dinners
2) I’m the problem

I picked up a book recently that said something like:
I eat to fill a different need, perhaps comfort.

Pairing this with, “Learning means a change in behavior” (from episode 2)
Something is going to give…
and you’re coming with me.

tl;dr - Went to a picnic. Ate a lot. Woke up feeling bad. Again.

The story: Dinner with neighbors #12
Background: Months ago I posted online asking to have dinner at neighbors houses.
Why? Because my house burned down and I wanted to share community moments.

So I was invited to a local Monday night potluck picnic.
Val, who invited me, reads my emails (hi, Val!)
She offered to cook salad and chicken for me to eat healthier.

She was also bringing homemade birthday cake ice cream.
My favorite flavor.
Dun dun dunnn…

She also brought a big bag of delicious chips.
Somehow, no one else ate the chips.
I don’t understand how.

Then one of the other potluck guests brought out an entire berry cobbler.
Obviously, combining the cobbler and the ice cream was the move.

I left the potluck feeling jazzed about community, but down on myself.
The goal was to eat healthy. Val set me up for success.
And I failed.

Afterwards, I stopped by the Rabbi’s house to pick up my first pair of tefillin.
This is a Jewish prayer item that I’ve begun to incorporate into daily use.
Still learning a lot about the meaning of them, but you can see them in my hands.

At the end of the visit, he offered me two fresh, hot homemade cookies.
And I’ll tell you, I smelled those cookies the entire half-hour I was in his home.
Crispy, crunchy oatmeal raisin and the softest, meltiest double chocolate.

I finished the oatmeal raisin before I got to my car.
I took one bite of the chocolate… it was better than the raisin.
I reflected on the choices I’d made.

And threw the cookie out the window.

Tonight, I have another dinner to attend.
Wish me luck, but better yet, awareness.

To the listeners out there, perhaps I would guess that I’m feeling a need for self-control. But if we look deeper, I’d suggest a guess for stability.
Eating grounds me in my body.

So can I curb the habit without nailing the stability part?
Yes.
Can I do it today?
Yes.

Will I?
That’s where it gets interesting.
I have the power, I have the ability to exercise it.
So for what reason am I not?

Solve this piece of the puzzle and I’ll owe you.

P.S. I’m teaching a speaking workshop in Venice, California on Wednesday at 6:30. If you’re in town and interested in coming, I’ll offer a special rate to my readers. Just reply with the work ‘speaking’.