Belonging vs Fitting in

It’s easy to fit into a big group.

Imagine you are a dentist in South Philadelphia.
You fit in with the Dental Association of Southern Wales.
You’re registered, so you also belong to it.
No one can take that away from you, because you are a dentist.

Imagine you’re a student at the Southern Wales Dental Academy.
Many students choose to wear blue scrubs, but you wear green scrubs.
You don’t fit in, but you do belong. Because you’re in dental school.
If you wanted to fit in, you’d wear blue.
But you don’t feel bad about standing out.
You feel safe in your belonging.

A small group of dental students play tennis.
They’re good. You’re new but want to learn.
You show up at the tennis court with a racket and athletic clothes.
No one is wearing scrubs, everyone is in decent shape.
From the outside, you fit in. But everyone is good at tennis but you.
You don’t feel like you belong.

One of the tennis playing dental students calls to you.
They see your effort and interest in the game and invite you to play with them for a bit.
They give you some tips on improvement and tell you to come back to practice.

An observer who sees your skill difference may believe you don’t fit in
but you’ll show up anyways, because you feel like you belong.

It only takes one person’s invitation to give someone belonging.

A sense of belonging gives people comfort to stand out.

But some invitations have requirements:
You won’t fit in or belong to the tennis players if you don’t show up.
Nor will you belong to the Dental Association of Southern Wales if you’re not a dentist.