bad leaders are excessively empathetic

“Empathy is a flaccid concept. Compassion is rock hard.”

Harvard professor and bestselling author Arthur Brooks said this during a recent interview and he puts it

Empathy is to feel someone’s pain. But as you become a leader of a family or an organization, you have to be able to make decision that are hard. And that hurt people.

If you’re too empathetic, you won’t be able to make decisions. As the professor says, “You’ll be a puddle on the floor.”

Compassion is a skill that you cultivate. It’s hard, but it’s always relevant and always effective. He says that to be compassionate is to understand what needs to be done and have the courage to do it, while not actually denigrating any other person.

The best parents (and CEOs) are compassionate. They do what needs to be done, even if the kids get mad about it. They do it in love.

A counterpoint for the professor’s argument is found when looking at the work from American psychologist and author Daniel Goleman, who writes:

Empathy has three levels: cognitive, emotional, and compassion — the kind that involves being present in someone’s suffering and choosing to truly help. Compassion is empathy put into action.

However you separate empathy, compassion, integrity, and kindness — making meaningful action, whatever size, builds momentum to create a more peaceful life.

What’s one action you can take today?

Keep living,
O