A very imperfectly human email

Hi,

It’s been a while. For some of the recent sign ups, this is your first email from me.

I like to write about listening.
I like to write about the act of loving someone, of being there for someone, of letting someone feel like they are enough.

For the last four years, I’ve been the listener-in-training, the teaching and now speaking listener. The last ten months have been quite the ride.

After the house I grew up in (and lived in) burned down, I went on a journey of staying in twelve homes in eight months, moving every two or three weeks, living in different neighborhoods, appreciating the hospitality of those who were supporting me.

And receiving a lot of support from people who had my back.

Discipline became a forefront for me.
I’d lost most other things, so waking up early and kicking the day’s ass was paramount.

And then, in August, I finally moved into a new place that would be mine for longer than two weeks.

And I stopped.

To rest? Maybe.
To collapse? A bit.

On the outside, things are going well.
Fascinating new opportunities. More to come.

But the other side has been darker than I’ve experienced before.

What once was 4:30am wake up and swims became 10:30am get out of beds and sit on the computer. Working sometimes. Sometimes not.

The Jewish holidays over the last month gave me pause.
A time to rest and reflect as the days and meals blended together.

But one thing persisted—community.

Although I was struggling, the invitation to join a dinner got me out and connected to people. Socially active. Upward momentum, perhaps?

And then every morning it would start again.

I started to tell a few people I could use support.
The morning phone calls started coming in from my people.

It was so much easier to pop out of bed and get to the gym with Connor or Allen on FaceTime. For Shane, Hannah, Tiffany, Hunter who called to chat.

Every time I’d get up, and get in my car, I’d remember: Motion feels so much better than sitting still.

But sitting still has been sticky.
Getting moving has been harder than ever these days.

Writing this email, being vulnerable, letting a bunch of friends, family, and readers know that there’s a person behind the tips and lessons. That there is a yearning to learn, to help, and to grow here.

That sometimes it’s not always about listening.
Sometimes it’s about being listened to.

That’s been me lately.
Someone receiving support.
And appreciating it.

The email is back today.
Whatever the email holds, we’ll get there one day at a time.

It’s amazing getting to receive the feeling of care.

To remember how important it is to give, and to hope that we can inspire others to give their time, love, and shine their light together.

Lightly, tired, grateful,

Orly