3 lessons from ancient Jewish tradition

Like many Jews, I grew up celebrating Shabbat nearly every Friday.

Sometimes we’d host guests. Mom would make a grand meal and we’d sit at the big table and talk deep into the night.

More often, it was a simpler affair — we’d light candles and Mom would say, “Dinner isn’t anything special,” before serving a fantastic meal. Then we’d go our separate ways.

Either way, spiritual conversation always accompanied the candle lighting.

Tonight, I sat for a magical shabbat experience in the ancient city of Jaffa.

Here are three takeaways that I’ll be incorporating in my shabbats for years to come:

Nigun (wordless singing breaks)

In Jewish culture, there are many tunes that simply use the sounds like ‘la’ and ‘li’ and ‘lie’. These Nigur are meant to give access to a more spiritual moment, going a level beyond the words and thoughts we spend most of our time in.

One beautiful thing about a nigun is that you don’t have to sing along. You don’t even have to stop your conversation. The song goes on and if you choice to join, you can. The tunes are simple and repeated so if you don’t know it the first time, you learn it by the third. (A nigun can last as long as it feels right.)

Curated small group conversations before dinner

For about ten minutes in small groups, we answered this question: In life, we have three names. The one our parents give us. The one we gain as we grow. And the one we make for ourselves. What are your three names, and what would you like to be for the third?
(I said I want my third name to be Dad)

How they made this fun and easy: Everyone received a small paper triangle as they walked in. It has the question and a color on it. When the time was right, all we had to do was find the group with our colored triangle and away we went! (Three/four people per color)

Encouragement to linger

There is no pressure to eat and leave. Lay back. Fall asleep. Chat. Drink tea. For the time of the dinner (about four hours) extending to the next evening, consider not striving for anything. Allow yourself to just be.

All of these Shabbat elements combined made a magical night. Fancy food or rotisserie chicken or pizza. It’s about the connection, the food is just a bonus.

Shabbat shalom,
Orly